Musing on Friendship
Now and then I have to think about friendship. It is so essential in this world today and yet I have the feeling that it is a rare blossom on the field of life!
We are advertis’d by our loving friends.
William Shakespeare (1564–1616)
We are connected via facebook and twitter and other social media. We have followers, we have facebook-friends we hardly know by name, we like business and fan pages, we organize each other in circles.
But yet real friendship is pretty seldom.
Some people have a pretty absolute idea about real friendship. Bet most of you have seen all those pictures at facebook or on the internet telling you about real friendship. You have to like it and share it, just to tell them that you agree … no way!
Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time – we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.
Georgia O’Keeffe (1887 – 1986)
What does real friendship mean?
I can’t answer that question. Maybe I will never be able to answer it.
Very necessary for friendship is sympathy, a positive feeling towards your friend. The stronger the feeling the more friendship is between two people. From this point of view even romantic love is friendship, or the love between relatives mean friendship too.
You can choose friends, but you can’t choose family, but family members can become friends too.
From this point of view you have to work on your friendship as on any other relationship. It is necessary to spent time together. Spending time … there are many ways to do that: phoning or skyping each other, exchange of emails, meeting each other, do something together. The way how to do it, differs from friendship to friendship.
I meet some of my friends just once or twice a year … yet the friendship is strong.
With other there are only skype meeting available … but we do everything to stay in touch.
Share our thoughts and feelings to keep the fire of friendship alive.
To strengthen our positive feelings!
It’s the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter.
Marlene Dietrich (1901 – 1992)
Another necessary essence for friendship is TRUST! How can I trust somebody when I am not able to tell everything that’s on my mind? If there might be the fact that they will hold your thoughts against you? That can’t be love, that can’t be friendship … that’s a dead born child.
You’re supposed to trust friends. You have no reason to be his friend? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust.
David Shore, House M.D., Not Cancer, 2008
If you trust somebody you have and can be honest to the very person. The ability being honest to another person in these days is a precious gift when people usually try to show off to get the better pieces of the cake.
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
Arthur Brisbane, “The Book of Today”
When being honest and trusting each other you are able to gain mutual understanding. How cool is that? A person whom I like and love and who understands me and whom I understand. Some marriages don’t work that way … unfortunately.
All people want is someone to listen.
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, May 8, 2003
And we also need an equal balance in giving and taking. If this is granted it doesn’t matter what is your profession in life or the profession of your friend, how much money you have or whatever! You give and take equally, nobody tries to give more just to show how able he is in life. It doesn’t matter.
The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.
Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC), De Amicitia
A friend takes you the way you are, and loves you the way you are.
How long does friendship last?
I don’t know. Considering that love is a form of a strong friendship we all know that love can be over one day. So even a good and true and honest friendship can be over one day!
But we should be able to enjoy every moment of our friendship and love … no matter how long it will last. It is always worthwhile!
I’ve learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Prehistoric Ice Man, 1999
What does friendship mean to you?
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